Monday, January 27, 2014



Just a quick post, didn't workout this AM or take a pic but I will try tonight. I just wasn't feeling it this morning. And today I vow to:


Monday...maybe my new favorite day?!

Have a nice day!

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Feelings :)


I woke up bright and early and went to my 7 AM WW meeting. I was up 1 lb. and I honestly was pretty annoyed. I looked back at my week and thought that I definitely should have lost weight. My eating was pretty much on and I exercised almost every day. I was bummed to say the least but I sat down in the meeting and ate my breakfast and drank my coffee (wanted to eat after weigh-in and before the 5k I had on the schedule right when I got home from WW).

The meeting was about making small steps toward your goals and things we are doing differently now that we are in WW. I wasn't planning on talking but there was a break in the conversation about small steps and I just starting pouring it all out, emotions that is! My leader, JoAnne, knows me very well, we have known each other since 2010 when I started my weight loss journey. As I talked about all my small steps (and cried), she stood by my side. I talked about how maintenance is the hardest part so far and about how life changes and we need to keep taking small steps to keep going. Everyone is the meeting was so nice and amazed by how much I have lost, which made me feel so loved! Everyone kept sharing and we all agreed that those kinds of meetings are the best kinds!

After it ended I had a couple people come up and tell me to keep going and that I was an inspiration (sometimes you need to hear that) and it made my day! One lady came up and asked how I keep from falling into the victim mentality when it comes to maintaining weight loss and the struggles along with it? I really hadn't thought of it that way, but, I guess I do sometimes act like a victim!! WOW! I will say to myself, "why can't I eat like that and not gain weight?", "why was I always the fat girl?", and "why will I always have to work at weight loss while lots of other people my size don't?". I would love to stop all of that mind control and just realize that it just is how it is and I am not a victim! You know what, I can and I will!

Things I want to work on to get away from the victim mentality:
  • negative self talk
  • don't let the scale dictate my week
  • Don't let food take over my thoughts
  • blaming myself and others 
  • be present and thankful
  • love the body and mind I am in now
  • stop making excuses
I know that if I just accept and be happy with where I am, it will be easier to keep going. I have been doing so well with exercise and my food and I can't fall into the old habits of letting the scale and negative thoughts ruin my week. Like I have said before, I am a work in progress and probably always will be!

Until later! 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Last Week Was Good!

That's really all, last week was just really really good! :) I exercised (cardio and yoga) almost everyday, really didn't have any big issues with binge eating  and the work week went fast, couldn't ask for more! It feels so good, I could get emotional, actually I did, in yoga :).

I have to keep this feeling of empowerment going! It's Tuesday night, I exercised yesterday and today (cardio) and I plan to go to yoga tomorrow so exercise is going good! Food, not too bad, breakfast, lunch and snacks are going well but sometimes I overeat at dinner. Like right now, I ate a piece and half of left over homemade pizza and I think I am still hungry! So....I am trying to decide if making some popcorn is in the cards. It probably is :)

I am in the second week of my health coach training and so far so good. The first week was the introductory stuff and this week I actually start learning. I just need to take it one day at a time and not get to anxious. Last week we talked about setting intentions for our career and year and this week is all about healthy cooking. I am a pretty darn good cook (if I do say so myself) and I am not afraid of tricky long recipes so I don't think it will be a problem. I am just so excited to learn and do something for myself!

Last night I made a really yummy, nutritious and filling soup, from The Simple Veganista's blog! Here is the recipe!

And mine looked like this! I followed the recipe pretty much exactly. YUM!

I love lentils and curry and well everything in this soup! See the wine cork, yep, I am a wino! I consume calories in the evening in the form of wine and I am not at all sorry! I am going to drink wine in the evening and this will not change, I just have to eat right and work out and hopefully keep loosin!

Yay! Feeling good and now eating popcorn! I will be skyping with my bestie soon, all is well in the world! Oh, and I don't have to work tomorrow!

Good night!

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The big B


I woke up this morning and went to bed last night feeling guilty, not a good feeling. I felt this way because I had a little binge last night. As I write this, I am feeling anxious and I need to just get this off my chest.

I don't binge all the time, I overeat once in a while but I don't binge often. I think I have figured out why I binge when I do, it's when I am alone and I am free to let my addiction surface. WOW, that's what it is, eating in secret. It sucks and I just don't want to do it anymore! I just want to eat like a normal person, three meals a day, a couple snacks and that's it! No sneaking food! I have to get to the root of this addiction.

I literally sat at the kitchen table last night just thinking about what I could eat that wouldn't ruin my whole day. I made a sensible dinner, nibbled a bit while cooking and then after dinner ate more than half of a dark chocolate bar and way more then a portion of these ginger snap mini cookies. Why couldn't I have just stopped for a minute and realized that I was already full from supper and not binge? Why did I feel the need to find more food to eat? On occasion I binge in public, it's usually around more then just one other person. I have issues at holidays when tons of food and sweets are sitting out and I graze for way too long. I don't feel as guilty about these social binge situations because it's isolated and it ends when the event ends. But this is also not healthy and it definitely does not support my intention of maintaining my weight loss and losing a bit more weight.

I think it comes down to mostly anxiety for me, I have anxiety often and most of the time I can deal with it but sometimes I can't. Travis was a band practice and I was alone to feed my addiction. I don't get this chance often and I honestly just loose my mind when a binge happens. I really am not thinking about how I will be affected later, I just eat and later the guilt comes. There are other times I feel like binging but I distract myself and get past it but sometimes I don't. I know I have the ability to overcome this and I will, I really will.

So, how do I do this? How do I empower myself to stop this addiction? I know it comes down to just believing in myself and mind over matter. I know that when I feel the need to binge, I just need to do something else. It is easier said then done. I have decided that I will keep my self accountable here and also distract myself with hobbies. It is not hard to stay busy, especially with my new undertaking of the nutrition program I am starting next week! I always go to other people's blogs for advice on these types of issues and I see that writing and tracking can really help keep people accountable, so that is what I am going to do here!

I am going to make another tab for this and I am going to keep a log of days that I do binge with info on what I ate and why I think I binged and also a list of activities that I can do instead of binging. I will even track those little binges or times when I think about food way too much, I HAVE to figure out why I do this! I think this will be very helpful and empowering for me! It will help me realize that it is okay to love food, to think about food and to eat food but not in a unhealthy way!

I read somewhere that this other blogger tells herself that, "the kitchen is closed for the night," and this helps her stay out of the kitchen and not binge :) I love this and I am going to tell myself this every night after dinner :) I will take any help I can get!

Me after yesterdays workout with my "I can do this face!"

I am and forever will be a work in progress, wish me luck!

Question:  Do you deal with a binge eating disorder? If so, any advice?

Monday, January 6, 2014

Yoga and Sister Love :)

A new week.....and I really just need another day off! I really don't mind my job but it's unfortunately not as fulfilling as I had hoped. I do love that I am on my feet moving pretty much all day (beats sitting at a desk for 8 hrs.) and the fact that I work for a local business (love supporting local) but it's definitely not a soul fulfilling type of job and that is why I am starting this health coach training! Also, since I am not in love with my job, I try to make effort to love many other things in my life and also seek out things that make me happy! One of the things that makes me most happy is practicing yoga!

Ahhhhhh....I love yoga, it fulfills so many things that I need in my life! First, yoga is my therapy, after most classes (not all) I leave feeling like I can start fresh and full of purpose. I always considered therapy for my negative body image and food issues but I never went, I just didn't want to spend the money and I was willing to work through things on my own and for the most part I have, but yoga is the little bit of therapy I need! I belong to an amazing yoga center and I love most of the teachers. I have been attending about two classes each week but for 2014 I intend to go 3-4 times per week. I know going more will benefit me in so many ways, I just have to keep it up!

The stretching and movement are very beneficial but the words that the teachers speak are what I really take home with me. One thing that a lot of them preach, is setting an intention for you practice and sometimes your day, week, year, etc.! While in class I always say the first intention that comes to my mind and I try to keep that intention in my mind the entire class. I have also started setting intentions for other parts of my life and that is how I came up with my New Years intentions list. I am hoping I can keep to my intentions and really make this year count!

It was a lovely Sunday! I spent most of the day with my sister eating, drinking, playing games and enjoying each other's company. We played scrabble and she is notorious for being a sore loser and I beat her! It was pretty funny, she threw a fake fit ;) Lovely day.

Have a lovely night, namaste :)

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Feeling Fresh!

WOW, what a fast year! It was a good year full of good things; a new job as a retail manager, becoming a yogini, continuing to be in a successful relationship, seeing friends and family, and many other good things! I have had some down moments but I am leaving those in the past and starting fresh (besides, looking back on these moments, they really weren't that bad, just things I needed to work through)!

I have some very exciting things to look forward to this year; starting a nutrition certification program, getting married, trips and maybe getting pregnant! Writing all that out makes me feel a little anxious but I know I want to do all these things successfully and I have the power to do them! I start the health coaching certification program with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition mid January. Since loosing weight and changing my diet, I have continued to be very excited about learning about nutrition and maybe helping others with weight loss and positive body image. I am nervous about this program but I know I will do well and I am so excited to get started! 

Travis and I are engaged! We are currently researching and picking out rings and will probably plan a small awesome wedding/party in the near future! I am very VERY happy to with Travis and I love that we decided to take our commitment even further! It's crazy how fast life changes and how crazy it is that I found someone that is this amazing! We deserve each other :)

We are planning some trips for this year, we will probably go see Travis's family in AZ at some point, a trip to San Fran to see some of my family is also in order and we are thinking a trip to Jamaica might be in the cards as well! I also want to go to CO to Red Rocks again this year, we went last year and it was awesome!

Then there is maybe getting pregnant, I am not sure when or if this will happen this year but I don't want to rule anything out! I want to make sure that I am successfully managing the nutrition program and a full time job before making the decision to have a baby.

So, lots of extremely exciting stuff and I have to admit, I am having a bit of anxiety as I write this! Deep breathes will help ;) I have also set some intentions (a method I have learned from yoga) for the year:

-drink 72-80 oz. of water per day
-be binge free
-eat slowly
-keep up my morning exercise routine
-go to yoga 3 times per week
-think positive
-continue to grow as a person
-be a good partner and friend
-don't worry about things in the past or things that are out of my control
-continuing maintaining my weight loss

All of these intentions are completely doable and I intend to do them to the best of my ability! I will just need to continue empowering myself, think positively and live each day like it's a gift!

I hope you all had a great 2013! Blog again soon!

Monday, January 14, 2013

Happy New Year....A Little Late!

Better late than never! Happy New Year! We spent New Years Eve at my good friend's house! We ate yummy snacks, drank yummy beer and just had a really lovely time! Of course fun pics happened!

Cuz we are just that cool! 


New Years goals.....honestly, I haven't really set any! However, I have been taking more chances! I have had two job interviews for the same job! I think they really like me and I think I really like them! I will divulge more later if all works out! All I can say is, if this happens I will be one happy gal! I don't hate my current job, I just really need a change! My job is very sedentary, even when I am busy and I am just ready for something where I can move around and use my skills in a different way. I am also planning on taking voice lessons! I just really have the need to explore something that I really love doing...duh! I can't wait, I need to call the lady I was referred to tomorrow and get this going! I also want to make it a goal to lose whatever pesky lbs. that I have on me! I can do it! First step (which I already did), joining an amazing yoga studio! I love it and it really is my therapy!   Not to mention, I am getting toned and really flexible! I will write more about that later! So, I guess my goal for this year is take chances and make more changes! It feels good to be daring and even maybe not know what you might get out of taking that chance! EEK! I mean I have lost 90lbs., other changes are nothing compared to the changes I have already made!

Anyway, yay, it's a new year and I am ready and rearin to get it going! I really do love my life!

Question:  What is one of your new year's goals?